Crossroads

My sister is fond of saying that life is a perpetual balancing act. I am finding that statement more true than ever, now that I am trying to handle work and mothering. I was hesitant to go back to work, extending my leave, and still have not managed to find child care, only working on days Dad can care for Spencer, but that is not really working out and it is getting to be decision time. Child care will take up 30-50% of my take home pay. I  certainly wouldn’t do my job for half the money; is it worth it?  There is another position with in the company doing what I do, but for a different department for almost twice the money. I think I will apply for that, but if I don’t get it, I may have to seriously consider staying home. It isn’t just about money though, I don’t want someone else to care for my baby.  And then I feel horrible, because enough money could entice me to let someone else take care of him. Does that make me greedy or just practical? I am so tired of constantly thinking about this. Becoming a stay at home mom is really appealing, which I never thought would be the case. This new job, though, would be a huge opportunity and not one I would necessarily have when I tried to reenter the work force five years from now.

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