Transitions

Today marks the day where I change from a WO/AHM to  SAHM. I never worked outside of the house for more than 10 hours a week, but I did spend another 30 working at home. It is bittersweet for many reasons. I don’t plan on  saying that much about my work exit itself because I don’t think this is the proper forum, but it is safe to say that it ranged from amicable to disappointing. I learned somethings about myself and I leaned that there are some nasty people in the world. Whatever. I am shaking it off and it is over. The plan is to stay home until Fictitious Baby Number Two is in preschool, or pre-preschool, whatever they have by then.

I am excited and worried and so many things. I thought I wanted to work, the idea that I would prefer to stay home surprised me a little bit. It crept up on me the more attached I got to my little guy. I was, after all, answering work emails both while in labor and later that night back in my room. I thought that was the person I wanted to be, baby on hip, blackberry in hand. I wasn’t good at it, though. I felt like I was doing a sub-par job at both things. That is partly because I was working from home while watching the baby. If we had an easier time finding child care we liked, I might still be working. We just couldn’t find something that was a good fit for us locally that also made sense financially.

I am also pretty defensive about it and found that some people are a little judgmental about my decision. I have learned a lesson though. I think from now on, when people inform me of some sort of lifestyle decision/change, my answer is simply going to be “That’s great” or “I’m glad you are following your heart” and I am never again asking why. If someone offers, I will listen for sure, but I never realized how hurtful a why in the wrong tone could be.

Deep Breath. It is over. Moving on. And besides, now I get to spend all day with this guy:

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3 Responses to “Transitions”

  1. Suzanne says:

    Congrats on the transition! I think it’s great that you got to work from home for a while to see how that went – I actually wish I could have worked something like that out.

    I was feeling sort of lousy about being a SAHM the other day until everyone in my 9:15-am-so-obviously-not-at-work exercise class went around and said what they used to do. It was great to hear that even people with previously SUPER COOL AND IMPORTANT jobs (a shipwright! an architect! an engineer for rock concerts!) now love staying home and being moms.

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  2. Diana says:

    See what happens when you leave a comment? :) I like how you said that thing about judging others choices. I have a really bad habit of doing that, and I know it’s not something I enjoy people doing to me. Your choice is wonderful, I would give anything to continue to be a SAHM. I love it. But we also have to eat. :)

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  3. Cindy A says:

    It is indeed hard to handle working and being a mommy! I also find the same thing, I feel like sub-par job on either. I work a couple days a week (architectural design work), sometimes while watching my LO, sometimes not…I find she is requiring more and more of me each day, and watching her and working is becoming impossible. Keep us posted on how you are liking being a SAHM, I think both positions WAHM or SAHM are hard work. Different but both hard. Glad I found your blog through Diana’s blog!

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