Things I Hate on the Internet Volume 1

I have been trying not to write this post. Different versions have been sitting in draft for quite some time. I’ve tried to ignore it, other people have done a better job. And yet, people keep saying stupid things.

1. FML. This, to me, is a true indicator of all things over dramatic. Perhaps I don’t get the nuance. But, it does mean fuck my life. Over spilling tea. Or too much mustard on a sandwich. Or a mixed up Starbucks order. Seriously people, relax.

2. Facebook drama. I understand that people have much more exciting facebook lives than I do, probably because I am old. People always talk about omnipresent facebook drama. There is a hide button. You can unblock. You are choosing the drama. If you are choosing the drama, there is no need to complain about it on twitter. You picked it; embrace it!

3. “Live” tweeting a show that is a few days old that you are watching on your DVR. There is something to be said about live tweeting a show with your friends. The “I love this song” when watching Glee. I can always tell when Hoarders is on because my time line is suddenly overwhelmed with rat counts. That said, when you are watching a show 3 days later then everyone else, tweeting every 5 minutes is annoying. It isn’t a way to interact with your friends, it isn’t interacting at all. It is spamming people’s timelines with irrelevant tweets that are rarely clever.

4. Sheepish interjections on twitter. The fun thing about twitter is the interactions and the ability to jump in on any of the threads you are following. But. Entering in a conversation with “oh, I might be wrong, but maybe have you thought about…” undermines the authority of your voice. If you have no idea, why are you interjecting or answering at all? If there is a chance you could be wrong, that is fine to say, but sometimes people with their 5 billion qualifiers just need to grow a pair.

What makes it all worth it: Dawson’s cryface gif and now jamesvandermemes

crying dawson Pictures, Images and Photos

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13 Responses to “Things I Hate on the Internet Volume 1”

  1. Jenni Chiu says:

    Um… I could be wrong about this…um… and maybe you’ve totally heard it before…. um… but YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT Dawson! It was James Vanderweek on funny or die, and it was a dream come true. I laughed so hard, I peed… then I was all “FML”.

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    So, your comment *might* have made me pee. Just a little. I admit nothing.

    [Reply]

  2. Anna says:

    Oops! I’m guilty of some of these.

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    I’m going to add a clarification, I think. I mostly mean people who do these things all the time. The errant fml isn’t going to annoy me, but there are people who say it every single time something upsets them.

    [Reply]

  3. TMae says:

    Oh, #5 resonates for life with me. I can’t stand all the qualifiers. (and now I hope I’ve never done it. Probably have. Should probably qualify my agreement…)

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    The qualifier thing stemmed from a response to a yes/no question which started with “um, it might be maybe…” which 1) I hate things that start with um in general and 2) it was a question like, does this link work? That makes me stabby.

    [Reply]

  4. Natalie says:

    I’m guilty of #4, because of my intense desire to be a people pleaser (see? just explained myself!) I’m working on it though. Definitely want to be more assertive w/ myself and my feelings and opinions.

    Love this list though, I agree 100%!

    Ugh, Drama. I can totally do w/out it.

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    I have never noticed you doing extreme qualifying. You are more polite than doubtful. I don’t care if people throw a single maybe or might in there, but when it is a string of them it drives me nuts.

    [Reply]

    Natalie Reply:

    Okay good. It’s the *traditional* Southern girl in me, not wanting to offend or make someone feel badly.

    But deep down I can be a bitch. ;)

    [Reply]

  5. […] earlier in the week the entire internet got my goat, so I will just give a link back to that post. But were is something I find excruciating. Can you […]

  6. JD says:

    Very cute post! I agree!

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    Thanks. I tried to keep it light, but I think I could write a things I hate on the internet post every month.

    [Reply]

  7. […] Since I like to think of myself as the world’s foremost expert on twitter (pretend that is in sarcasm font), I thought I would share a few of the things I have picked up since the last time I proclaimed myself an expert on the subject. […]

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