Trying to make 2011 full of the happy.

The title of this post matches my twitter profile bio. I put it there after I wrote this post and my dear friend Eileen of Bringing Up Bronwyn suggested that I try and make 2011 full of the happy. Wise words. I thought I was working on it, but really I am still teetering on crabby and unhappy a good part of my days. So, I got to thinking (dangerous business, I know) and I realized that I was approaching this all wrong.

I was so focused on external things making me cranky or past things making me sad that I missed the point. I’ve been in a list-making mood today, so while I was in the shower (where I do all my best thinking) I started thinking about what things I missed most about not having a kid and then I realized that I should write them out and actively work on the ones that are fixable.  So, in lieu of a resolutions update this month (going pretty well, thankyouverymuch), I thought I would do a little list here and see if you guys can help me solve all my problems because you are all so smart. And pretty.

  1. No alone time. This one is probably the trickiest. Spencer only naps for about an hour alone in the pack-n-play or crib, which is my only chance to exercise, which I don’t like enough for it to be a fun use of my only alone time. So, I’ve been slacking. I try going for walks in the morning before we hit the park, but it isn’t much of a workout. And Spencer is super sensitive to me not being in the room when hubs is home, so I can’t just pop in the other room and get a workout or read a magazine or anything. I either need to get him to nap better, go for longer walks or make better use of the single hour I get. I am a loner. I crave alone time. I turn in to an uber-bitch when I don’t get it.
  2. Constant touching. I was not prepared for this one, at all. The touching, poking, patting never stops. Obviously, I didn’t spend that much time around kids because I am sure it is normal, but it gets to a point where it makes me skin crawl, especially Spencer sticking his arm and hand down my shirt. Again, it is perfectly normal, but even when he isn’t pinching or scraping his nails along my flesh, it is still there. A constant appendage and I hate it. I don’t think anything can be done about this one, though.
  3. So very very loud. I have sensitive hearing. I always have. Not to the point where I am hearing supersonic dog noises, but I am sensitive to the loud: electronics, banging, sneezing, toddlers. There isn’t much cure for the loudness of a child, but I can make sure the TV is as low as possible, turn it off more often, make him stop watching Dora and Diego (the loudest of all tv shows). Or constantly wear earplugs…
  4. I miss reading books. In all honesty, the internet is as much to blame for this one as parenthood. I need to make an effort. I hope throwing it out into the ether helps.
  5. I haven’t traveled on a plane in years.I can not let fear of flying (with a toddler, not the dirty Jong kind) rule my life. There is no good reason why I couldn’t take Spencer to NYC to visit my sister. Unless of course she doesn’t want us.
  6. Soup or Salad Blog Ok. So this doesn’t have anything to do with parenting, but it is making me unhappy and I am doing it to myself, so I thought I would tack it on to the end of the list. This one is completely my own fault. I decided I wanted to post on Soup or Salad Blog 3 times a week and have tried SO HARD to stick to it, but after the recent spate of error and struggles to find content, it is just not worth it. When I make a great recipe, I will post it. When I find a great guest post, I’ll put it up. BUT. I am done with putting content pressure on myself. If you find something good, pass it along, I’ll put it up for sure. But I couldn’t do it with a partner and I turns out I can’t do it on my own either.
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4 Responses to “Trying to make 2011 full of the happy.”

  1. Cole says:

    Oh, the loud! Mommy has no advice here, just sympathy… 85% of her arguments with Daddy are about him making extraneous noise for no reason – with a toddler and a puppy in the house, could he maybe go 5 minutes without talking or humming or singing?! Her brains get rattled. Sometimes she makes Daddy stay home with me and goes to dinner by herself. Quiet, alone time = bliss.


  2. Suzanne says:

    Oh to go to dinner alone! It would be the most glorious thing in the world.

    Towards the end of our nursing relationship, I used to pull a blanket over myself tightly and tell Evan “NO TOUCHING, Mommy needs mommy time”. It would mostly work and I would get at least a few minutes of time without any grabby little hands on me.

    If you get on a plane and make it to NYC, I will get myself and the kids down to the city to hang out.


  3. TMae says:

    I have so much to say about this. Because I’m pretty. Or because I’m mouthy. You decide.

    #1 – Never being alone made me fear for my emotional sanity. And even more than never being alone, it was the feeling of constantly being needed. I was MISERABLE. If O was napping I felt like I HAD to do some other responsible thing (like you, working out) the dishes, or the laundry. I couldn’t just sit and BE. And just the other day I was thinking, “Gosh, I’m not so miserable anymore, what changed?” And you know what? I think daycare, making money, and taking a class have helped TREMENDOUSLY. I LOVE having time that does not include someone climbing on me, shaking his fist to nurse, or my husband asking me what’s for dinner. I need those things, and I know that about me, and it took me too damn long to make it happen.

    Now, I’m trying to figure out how I find a babysitter, because I need to be able to leave the house with my husband, and not my child. Just once in a while, but it has to happen.

    I’ll stop myself before I blog jack your post…but I’ll chat about it ANYTIME if you need.


    Amy Reply:

    Today I enrolled Spencer in “preschool.” It doesn’t start until September, but it is 6 hours a week at a very reasonable price. I plan on doing nothing productive while he is there.


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