A Pile of Steaming

So, here is a bunch of stuff I have to get out of my brain before I can write anything else because I am slowly going insane. And I hate people blogging about the fact they aren’t blogging (unless it’s a “I’ll be back in July and here’s why” note) so I figured I would try the vomit on the page approach and see what happens. Because none of this really warrants? its own post. Or maybe it does, who the hell knows. I’m in the midst of a severe case of “blogger’s doubt,” where you write post after post and publish none of them because you think no one cares.

  • I may not be cut out to parent a toddler. The mood swings kill me. The screaming because he has no shoes on when he in fact removed his shoes makes me want to stick pencils in my ears and then I feel like a bad mom, five thousand times a day.
  • I miss posting lots of pictures on my blog. I’m waiting for some issues to be worked out. Also? I’ve tried moving away from auto and tons of my pictures look like this:

I need to find a class. Obviously.

  • I made my first big blogging business blunder. And it pisses me off to no end. And I have to wait for things to sort out and I am all sorts of disappointed with myself about it. I can’t talk about much more than that yet.
  • I inexplicably hate this video. As a warning, I sent it to someone and their response was “Well that was a waste of 4 minutes of my life.”
  • I am absolutely terrified about BlogHer in August. It’s causing huge anxiety attacks and I don’t like to talk about them because someone is always “you think that is an anxiety attack, THIS is an anxiety attack,” and there is a difference between empathy and a pissing contest.
  • Speaking of pissing contests and blogging, there are so many things I want to write about but someone has already done it bigger/better/faster. Lose weight? Someone has lost more weight, with a better diet and organic kumquats. Not that people do this in my comments, you guys are lovely. This is all in my head. So, I don’t write it.
  • My birthday is coming up. That has me all anxious for no reason. Although, I did gain a year because all year I thought I was 37 and it turns out that I am turning 37 in June. Awesome.
  • But my birthday means that we are halfway through the one year I am giving myself to get pregnant before we stop trying and my oven is bunless.

BUT, I would be remiss to just complain. Here is some good stuff too:

  • I still can’t believe I was syndicated on BlogHer.
  • AND we went out to a fancy-pants dinner the other night and they had cheesecake stuffed chocolate dipped strawberries and mine were totally better. Plus theirs had the cheesecake on the outside of the strawberry. Lazy.
  • Spencer is almost 2. Holy crap. Also, he somehow just started talking in sentences. Crazy.
  • I have the best internet friends a girl could ask for. I just need to make some local friends and be less of a hermit.
  • My husband is awesome.
  • I’ve lost 23 pounds.
  • Stash Meyer Lemon tea is the most delicious beverage on the planet that doesn’t have alcohol in it.

Don’t forget you can enter to win a signed copy of the Fug Girls’ Spoiled here.

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12 Responses to “A Pile of Steaming”

  1. Suzanne says:

    I think these thought-round-up posts should be mandatory for all bloggers once a quarter, just so no one tries to turn “Oh I made a blogging mistake but I can’t talk about it but here are 800 EXTREMELY VAGUE WORDS about it” into a blog post. That would truly be a waste of 4 minutes of my life.

    If I had as much stressful stuff going on as you do I think I’d have panic attacks too. Ones that were OBVIOUSLY WAY WORSE than yours.

    You’re not a bad mom. xoxo

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    I wrote the 800 extremely vague words about it. I mean not really, who am I kidding. I am a 350 word blogger, but still. No one wants to read that. And no one wants to read 200 words on the video either. Now, 800 words outline all the ways I think I am a bad mow, that someone would probably read.

    [Reply]

  2. TMae says:

    See, you said the video was awful, and yet I watched anyway. I only watched 2 minutes, but still. WOW.

    I’m laughing at you gaining a year. Because I do the same thing. I am always adding a year. How do we forget how old we are?

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    Age is hard. It changes all the time… Well, you watched most of the video. At like 4 minutes in, it just shows the guy with the lyric cards.

    [Reply]

  3. Brigid Keely says:

    Toddlers! Toddlerhood is simultaneously the best and worst time.

    What’s best about it? We order pizza and Niko gets all excited and serves us slices! When I get sodas out of the fridge he grabs them and runs off… to deliver them to the people who want them! He tickles people! He talks in sentences! He claims that he’s crying when he wants me to do something I won’t do and he’s obviously not crying! He makes jokes! Imaginative play! Book requests!

    But it’s also the worst because OH MY GOD he had a tantrum today because I was not holding blocks the exact way he wanted me to hold them! He threw a fit because someone rolled a ball the other day and the ball didn’t roll exactly as he wanted it to. OH NO! AUGH! EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE AND HORRIBLE AND AWFUL! TIME TO SCREAM!

    Toddlers.

    Can’t live with them, can’t trade them for chimpanzees.

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    Ok, so “Toddlers: Can’t live with them, can’t trade them for chimpanzees.” Needs to be on a t-shirt. Brilliant.
    Toddlers are hard. I think I have a really hard time because I am a fixer, and toddlers just can’t be fixed. Sometimes their very toddleriness means that something needs to be wrong. It hurts my head.

    [Reply]

  4. Some Mother says:

    I am new and naive about this mom blog world, but I think everyone has a voice and story ;) No matter when or how, whoever reads your words is doing so in the exact right timing for good reason… regardless of who else has written whatever. So post those drafts already. I love this random thoughts approach…. its like being in my head! You should do this routinely.

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    Thanks! I think sometimes we just need a brain dump to get it out of our systems.

    [Reply]

  5. keri says:

    Hi.. I love posts like this. I know it’s really you and not some spruced up version of you, LOL. Love your honesty. Sounds like you have so much on your plate. And blogging too?

    I finally made it over here after my SITS feature. The day after my house was struck by lightning and it took 9 days to get my internet back. Came to say hello and thanks for the visit to my blog. I’m looking forward to reading much more of you .. hang in there. Your blog is gorgeous! Keri

    [Reply]

  6. C says:

    I LOVE these posts! Life with a toddler leads to scatter brain (at least for me) Go you for losing 23 pounds and you SHOULD talk all about it! That is HUGE!! And for not blogging about what others have blogged about…I dont read thier blogs I read yours! Write them!!!! I love reading the things you have to say!

    [Reply]

  7. Veronica says:

    Youre beating yourself up over something that isnt your fault so stop it. As for Blogher I am kind of feeling the same way so why dont we exchange phone numbers and text upon arrival and feel awkward together? And to mask our awkwardness we can make fun of random San Diegoans on the street. THEN we will speak in nothing but Simpsons quotes until we are drunk and happy.

    There. I fixed almost everything.

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    Dammit. I thought we were going to sit around and make fun of other bloggers. Now, I want a refund.

    [Reply]

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