How I Know I am Getting Old

I’m old. Approaching 40. I don’t like to be reminded of it one bit. I like to pretend I am 28-32, like so many of my online friends. Luckily, I am on the younger side of many of my in-real-life “meat” friends. Sometimes, though, I am smacked in the face with my growing age and the crankiness that comes with it. The following is a list of the things I don’t understand and that have made me feel very, very ancient lately.

  1. Strapless tops worn with strapped bras. I just don’t get it. I find myself tsk-tsking. Just like my mother used to about cropped “belly” shirts.
  2. What is the deal with pop stars basically performing in sparkly underwear? I’m not even talking about the Lady Gaga or Taylor Momsen extremes: Rhianna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus* – all pretty much in underwear.
  3. MTV programming. While I will occasionally watch Teen Mom, mainly to make myself feel better about my own parenting skills, I just can’t watch the rest of it. I used to love Real World and Road Rules, especially Road Rules and now it just seems like they are casting for Challenge fodder. I don’t understand. And don’t even get me started on Jersey Store. I can’t even grasp the appeal and I watch Real Housewives. And TMZ.
  4. Fashion/women’s magazines no longer hold my attention. I used to be an avid reader, now I can’t even read them for free if they are laying around.
  5. I don’t understand the use of hooker/whore/bitch as a salutation. Nope. Don’t want to be called a whore ever, even is it is theoretically in a positive way. This one is a generational thing for sure. I used to work with people who said it and it made my flinch every time.
  6. My temperpedic bed is my favorite purchase of the last few years, well worth the scrimping and saving.
  7. I take gas-x on a regular basis and eat probiotic poop yogurt. This body is breaking down. And I creak.

*I am also old enough to not know how to spell these names and too lazy to look them up.


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9 Responses to “How I Know I am Getting Old”

  1. TMae says:

    I love these. #4 and #5 in particular. I picked up a Marie Claire the other day (I think, is MC still in publication?) because I’m a magazine junky, and after flipping through it put it back. I couldn’t even take flipping through it.

    Pretty soon we will become our parents and tell our kids to get back in their room and put presentable clothes on.


  2. I’m in my late 20’s and I can relate to most of those myself!


  3. Amanda says:

    Apparently I am an old soul then because at my ripe old age of 27 I feel the same way. Except I don’t eat poop yogurt but I do eat a FiberPlus bar every day. Practically the same thing.


  4. I used to LOVE The Real World, and now I can’t stand it – it’s just drinking and fighting. Ugh.


  5. Brigid Keely says:

    I was in the magazine aisle at the store the other day, eye-ing “Better Homes and Gardens.” OLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD.


  6. I’m right there with ya! The other night I was watching my DVD of Sex & the City (1st movie) and I see Carrie’s bra straps and the entire back of her bra in her outfits. I don’t get it. Did she forget to zip up her dress? Is that considered dressed?


  7. Brittany says:

    Bahaha! I’m with you on the poop yogurt. And the first time I had to buy Preparation H I knew I had officially become my mother.


  8. oh this is awesome. I relate to each one more than the last. MTV? wtf, MTV? I remember when you LAUNCHED! yikes.


    Amy Reply:

    Me too. I remember when there was still Dial MTV. Life before TRL.Heh. I’m old.


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