Some Last Minute Shopping Do’s and Don’ts. Mostly Don’ts.

I’ve experienced some very strange things during the last few days of running errands. I thought I would put together a handy list of tips and tricks in case anyone isn’t sure what is or isn’t appropriate behavior when out in public.

In store:

  • Don’t ram some one with your cart when you would like to move to the other side of them. Also, telling someone to move their “fat fucking ass” isn’t really fitting in with the whole holiday spirit. And combining these two? TOO FAR.*
  • Do say “excuse me” or even “hey you” if someone is in your way.
  • Don’t just abandon your cart in the center of the aisle. Push it to the side, it takes 4 seconds. See also: keep to the left or right when going down the aisle – not the middle.
  • Do say please, thank you and have a nice day to your checker or anyone who helps you. Even if they seem less than enthused. Keep in mind, you just spent an hour dealing with assholes in Target. They have to spend 8.

In parking lot:

  • Don’t park in someone else’s parking space at an angle, rendering them unable to back out and forcing them to sit in their car and cry.*
  • Do follow posted parking lot signs. You know, like stop signs or fire lane. They are there for everyone’s safety.
  • Don’t speed. Parking lots are not racetracks.
  • Don’t make a trip to your car to drop off some of your purchases and return to the mall. People are watching for that and might rob you. (Or this is an urban myth, but this is reported in our paper every single year. I have not had it happen to me)
  • Do be aware of your surroundings when using your phone in a parking lot. Multiple checkers told be about people who’s purses were stolen from their carts while they were pushing it and texting. Also, don’t leave your purse in your cart.

On the road:

  • Don’t turn from the wrong lanes in heavy traffic. Go around the block if you missed your turn.*
  • Do stay on your side of the road.
  • Don’t use your cell phone and drive.
  • Don’t drink and drive. Martinis and shopping are fun, but not if you have to drive home.
  • Do pay extra attention. People are crazy.


*Same trip.

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7 Responses to “Some Last Minute Shopping Do’s and Don’ts. Mostly Don’ts.”

  1. TMae says:

    I don’t think I would ever leave the house again after that shopping trip. Seriously. I hate people. They’re assholes.


  2. Amanda says:

    If I had that shopping trip I am pretty sure I would have punched someone. Or cried. Or purposely rammed someone’s car. And I am a very mild mannered person. Tis the season for A holes!


  3. Leah says:

    If this had happened in Chicago, I would have totally fought that cooze for you. Who even does that?


  4. Audrey says:

    I usually just have to keep an eye peeled for scammers approaching me in the parking lot (or this year, in the store! joy). I mean, dude. I’m with my kids. Back off.

    And I swear if someone had bumped me and said that to ME in a store, I’d have a very bad example to set for my kids right about then. Cus hell to the no.


  5. the grumbles says:

    people are such jerks. every time i go out i wonder why the hell i left my house, but REALLY, is it that common to just be a complete asshole these days? it’s everywhere!


    Amy Reply:

    I like to think that some of it is amplified by the asshole factor of southern california. I refuse to believe that everywhere is like this.


  6. Jessica says:

    I hope the women(I assume women, can’t imagine a man doing that) reads this and thinks to herself man I am a bitch! People are assholes…. especially at the time of year when they should be the nicest.


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