Overheard: Very Important Pregnancy Advice from a Guy (his friend was pregnant that one time)

We were staying at a hotel last weekend and there was free breakfast in the lobby. Now, when there is free breakfast, we partake. While we were seated down there, Truman was making eyes at this young woman across the way. She was probably mid-20s. She had food and Truman will check out anyone with food, batting his eyes and smiling trying to get some. Sort of like a puppy, complete with the drool. She was with a male companion, but they didn’t seem to be dating. Truman is just so adorable that naturally their conversation turned to whether she would like to have kids.

She expressed… concerns.  My eavesdropping skills are pretty good, but I am not claiming what follows is 100% accurate or a perfect transcript.

Her concerns included: not being able to drink coffee and not being able to drink alcohol.

He was quick to assuage her fears: my aunt (or some trusted female source) is a doctor, he said. Drinking is fine. In moderation of course. But 2 drinks a week is great! Especially after the 2nd trimester, then it doesn’t matter at all. {woohoo!} Then he proceeded to outline what she really had to worry about: sushi. And soft cheese. And, of course, letting herself go.

Then he recanted a hilarious tale of being at Scoops (I am assuming this is an ice cream place in Los Angeles. Doesn’t it sound like one?), and seeing all the pregnant ladies get two scoops because, what the hell! It’s good for the baby. Good fats and such. And sometimes the pregnant ladies went every single day.

The girl nodded along.

But you know what I think?, he added in a conspiratorial tone, really they are just using it as an excuse. It’s the only time women can just eat whatever and people don’t judge them. But after? That’s when you need to be careful.

I will give both of them some credit for not glancing over at my let-go self at that point. Good job, kiddos!

Really, at this point it was all I could do not to lean over to her and say that sciatica, hemorrhoids and heartburn are much bigger problems than lack of coffee or alcohol. Plus you can totally drink coffee. Spencer is a boy genius. I credit the coffee. Of course, he seems to be an evil genius. That might be the coffee, too. Drink at your own risk.

And as for the young man, well, he had good intentions. His tone was nice. He clearly has never had a pregnant wife or girlfriend informing him that the only thing that will not make them puke is ice cream and that they will be going to this Scoops again tonight. Again.

He will learn.

Someday.

 

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One Response to “Overheard: Very Important Pregnancy Advice from a Guy (his friend was pregnant that one time)”

  1. Suzanne says:

    Oh the thoughts of the young. I wish they could re-read this in like 10 years after they both have kids.

    [Reply]

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