40 by 40

We almost bought a house yesterday but it was over budget. Not a little bit over budget, but a lot bit. Blow the roof off the the budget. It was exactly like the first house on the Property Brothers. You know, when they take people to their dream house and then it is hundreds of thousands of dollars over their budget and they laugh at them at tell them they should have made better life choices to have that house.

So now I am in crisis. I have been thinking all day about what we would do if that house came up for sale again next summer, which is when we were planning on looking for a house to buy. Maybe prices would drop! That seems like a reasonable thing to pin my hopes on. If the price drops enough, odds are that my investment account aka the downpayment would also drop and then we start to have a reverse give a mouse a cookie situation.

I have stared at the wall most of the morning. I have rage scrubbed a floor, deep in a pit of what if, should have dones and self loathing and then it hit me. I am doing nothing RIGHT NOW to help me buy that house in the future. And also, truth be told, I would rather go to Hawaii than have a house with a pool. A bigger house is just more to keep clean.

I think it is time to get my priorities straight. And figure out what exactly I want out of life and then make it happen. I need a list. I was going to do a 50 by 50 list, but being solidly planted in my early but not quite mid forties, being 50 is too much to think about right now. So what about a 40 in my 40s lift. That’s a thing, right? No. Well, I am making it one. Starting…. now.

Also, hey! hi! hello! I guess my blog is back.



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