I got the idea for chrome pinecones from a combination of the Ebpot Nutcrackers and the fact that half of the holiday stuff at Target this year is super shiny. Now that I have chrome spray paint in my hot little hands, I fully plan on chroming all the things.

Side note: don’t make jokes about christmas tagging when buying silver paint. The cashier was not amused.

This is more of a guideline than an exact tutorial because the instructions are basically buy paint, gather pinecones, spray, dry, spray, dry, enjoy. I used pinecones that Spencer gathered (legally) and Valspar metallic spray paint in chrome/silver. I think it was about $5 and the pinecones were free, so this was not a spendy craft project at all. The results, however, look pretty expensive.

In process!

I don’t trust myself to mix my good camera with spray painting, so I only have this one process shot. I spray painted outside on the grass (when Spencer wasn’t home or I would probably have a chromed toddler) so I just spread some newspaper out then put a paper grocery bag on top for my work area. It’s important to practice safe spray painting, so please use it in a well ventilated area and read the label warnings carefully.

I found that two light coats gave the pinecones enough coverage. I just sort of nudged them around and over with my finger between sprays. The coats were light enough that it worked fine. I used quick sprays of paint rather than long sweeping sprays, seemed to get in the nooks and crannies of the pine cones well.

These pinecones are shiny. Very, very shiny.

The hardest part is deciding just where to put them in my house. I currently have them nestled into a bowl with some greenery, but they might migrate to the mirrored shelf. I think they need to be up a bit higher because Spencer keeps grabbing and petting them. He called them his shinies and things got a little Gollumy.

The chrome – it blinds!

The house is decorated, but not very tidy, so I thought I’d show some highlights of my very favorite things around the house.

Spencer is super excited about his advent calendar (from target!). I like the idea of it, but he starts asking for the candy the second he gets up in the morning.

Growing up it was my job to turn on this tree every night. My grandmother made it (in the late 60s, I believe) and I don’t remember a Christmas without it. It is missing a bulb though, if any vintage lovers know where I might acquire one. I can tuck the bare spot to the back, but I would like to try and fix it if possible.

I try to decorate things I have out normally rather than doing a full swap of things in the house. This decorative piece sits on the credenza in our dining room. Last year I tried sticking the christmas cards on the posts and have them held up by the circles, but they fell out all the time. This year I was going to go with the tried and true, my mantra: all else fails, glitter ball it; but Spencer insisted on the snowflakes and stars. Looks cute! He has excellent ornament all the things skills.

The shelf got finished off with Spite Angel and a new frame. I love the striped frame with the branch ribbon – total happy accident.

Sadly, we have no mantle. Bannister stockings are the best I can do. Some years I do greenery and balls on the stairs, this year I tried out just ribbon.

Spencer insisted on having this stocking he made last year in school hanging somewhere. I went with his room.

I usually wait until December 1st to do any holiday decorating. I think that’s because my mom always waited until after my sister’s birthday on November 28th to decorate and I just kept up the habit. This year it has been so hard to wait. Everyone started putting up instagrams of their freshly decorated trees and I started feeling twinges, like a mix of jealously and a very festive rage. I’m still waiting until Saturday to do my tree, but I started decorating a bit with my shelf-mirror that I like to pretend is a mantle.

I always start out thinking my theme for Christmas is going to be minimalist chic or retro panache, but I always end up with GLITTER BALLS!!! as a theme. I can’t help it. I am a fan of the Christmas sparkle. See also: disco tree.

It think it turned out mostly cute. I’m getting a new frame when we update the Santa photo (that’s last year’s sullen boy on lap on display) and I met my glitter ball quota for the mantle. I love my little glitter tree. That’s cardboard! It came together in about 5 minutes and it is much sparklier than it photographs.

So. Here’s the thing. I’ve been thinking for a long time how cute it would be to decorate the edge of the mirror with ribbon. And it looks mostly cute. But it is lumpy. I used tape because I need to take it off without damaging the mirror. I know you guys are a crafty bunch. Any ideas on how to make the ribbon look better? The only other idea I have is gluing the ribbon to a piece of poster board or cardboard and wedging it in there.

This is my elf Hamilton, but he prefers Ham. I got up one morning,
checked my browser history and found some interesting results. Ham
spends every night trolling the internet with his catfriend, guzzling
Franzia, eating cheetos and commenting in forums.

This an entry in the #InappropriateElf contest 2012.