Posts Tagged ‘sleep’

Bedtime. Again. Again.

Monday, October 10th, 2011

I think this is my fourth post on the subject of Spencer and sleeping, but I’m really too lazy to go back and hunt them all down. Clearly SEO and inter-linking is a huge priority, no wonder I am totally cracking into the upper echelon of blogging. Like a bullet. Ahem.  So, bedtime. It sucks.

I really thought that bedtime wouldn’t still be a problem at 2 and a quarter. I’m not sure what I thought would have happened, but I thought this would all be worked out by now. I honestly think one of my biggest parenting mistakes (up to know) is not sleep training Spencer when he was younger. I mentioned this on twitter during a little bout of bedtime rage and someone countered with, can you just do it now? Honestly, I have no idea.

We have a routine. Bath and jammies downstairs with Dad and then I take him up pretty quickly. Spencer turns on the lights. We read books: Otis, Click Clack Moo, Goodnight Gorilla, Brown Bear, counting book, puppy book, and the mirror page from Pat the Bunny. Spencer turns out the light. We cuddle up on the chair for a sippy of milk and quiet time. And here is where it gets variable.

He may fall asleep at this point, but it is unlikely. If he is tired, he’ll ask to be transferred to the crib for some back-rubs hand-holding and drift off to sleep. Or, I might sing Puff the Magic Dragon, Barges and Twinkle, Twinkle over and over again for 20 minutes only to have him ask for more milk in the crib. Lather, rinse repeat. For up to two hours.

I have tried ever so briefly to leave him in the crib to see what happens. Mostly because sometimes in our 2 hour bedtime-a-thons, I have to pee. What happens is standing, angry crib rail shaking and much, much yelling. Once I hid in the bathroom for 5 additional minutes to see what happened. The yelling just got louder.

So, I have questions. People who never sleep trained, did your child just magically figure out how to go to sleep one day on their own or do you coddle cuddle them to sleep until they leave for college. Should I wait until his imminent switch to a bed to try anything? Help me, internets.



Monday, January 3rd, 2011

I had a much different post planned. I was going to post pictures of our awesome sNOw hunt on New Years Day. I was going to write the post after Spencer went to bed. And here it is 10:30 at night and I just got him to fall asleep. It took 2 hours. Probably 5 nights of 7, it takes this long to put him to bed. We have a routine, bath, jammies, most nights a book, bottle, nurse, bed. It doesn’t work.

There are plenty of contributing factors: my milk supply is getting worse, he is only nursing 2-3 times a day; he misses his dad so much during the day that he gets really worked up when he is home and is normally not calmed down by bedtime; we aren’t super consistent with our routine. All of these things put together make a routine that rarely works and a very unhappy Amy.

I am seriously considering a combination of sleep training and weaning. I realize I am opening myself up to criticism by even posting this and I don’t really care. Here is why:

  • Spencer is a toddler. I am not sleep training a teeny tiny baby. He is almost a year and a half old.
  • People say “if you sleep train him, he will cry and that is cruel.” He cries now. For hours, while I nurse him, when I lay him down sleeping, before his bottle, after his bottle, he kicks, he screams, he bites. Sometimes for hours. I fail to see how 5 minutes of crying is worse.
  • While I am upstairs, holding Spencer, being bitten, kicked in the face and listening to screaming. My husband is downstairs not experiencing these things. This makes me resent my husband. Why is my husband not putting to Spencer to bed? We have a division of labor and bedtime falls on my side. Also? I have the boobs. I’m not sure how a mother who resents the father is a good parent to any child.
  • At night, when I sit in the dark, holding my toddler who refuses to sleep, I am starting to get flashes of resentment, of rage, of desperation and hate. Directed at my darling toddler. How is that good parenting?

If it sounds like I am trying to justify something, that I have doubts, well, that’s because it is true. But, I can’t take it anymore. I start dreading bed time at 6 pm. It lasts until 10-11pm. Almost every night. Say 5 nights a week for 4.5 hours. That is over 24 hours a week. A full day every week that I am stressed to the point of near-vomiting. That I don’t always love my child to the fullest. And if that situation is fixable, it would be stupid not to try. Judge me, hate me, unfollow me. I don’t care. I’ve been bitten, scratched, screamed at, kicked through a year of horrible bed times. The solution starts now.

Super Sleeptastic

Friday, August 13th, 2010

I thought I would do a quick sleep update. I am not sure whether things are getting better or if I’ve just accepted our face. Spencer slept for 8 hours in a row the night of his party, but he was exhausted and stuffed full of a tremendous amount of food. So it was an exception, but it gave me an idea. We are working on giving him bigger dinners – maybe we just weren’t feeding him enough at night. I’ve started finishing up each meal with a little cup of yogurt or applesauce on top of whatever we fed him. One night I added on a zucchini muffin, too. And he is normally sleeping until 3 now, not 1 for his first sleep segment. I am considering that a mini-success.

For the most part, we’ve also settled in to a nap schedule. He goes down after lunch for about 45 min, then I nurse him and he sleeps for another 1.5 hours on my lap. I’ve tried putting him down for a second time without much success, so I just catch up on my google reader and write a bit while he sleeps. Of course today he went down for a nap super-tired and an hour later than normal and he has slept for 1.5 hours in the pack and play. Maybe I need to scoot the nap back a bit.

Regardless of how his night-time and nap-time sleeping is actually going. I feel much better about it. I no longer feel desperate and exhausted. It might just be that I submitted to the randomness of the schedule or I have significantly upped my caffeine intake, but whatever it is, it’s working. For now.

Edited to add: The baby woke up with in three minutes of me hitting publish. Ha.


Sunday, July 25th, 2010

Exhausted as in tired and out of options. I am at a sleeping impasse. I pretty much got Spencer on a 12 pm nap and 830 bedtime schedule. Yay!  Except I am even more tired than I was before. I realized that my problem was a sleep schedule as much as the fact that he won’t stay asleep.  He wakes up 45 minutes into a nap and then will nurse and sleep for anther 45. At night it isn’t much better. He sleeps for an hour or two and then wakes and I have to nurse him back to sleep.  And the last two nights he would barely nurse back to sleep. It took almost 2 hours to get him back down and I crawled back under the covers at 530 in the morning, right as my husband was getting up for work and Spencer only slept until 645. I managed to nurse him back down and we slept in the chair together until about 8, but then his diaper leaked all over me. Fun times.

The internet hasn’t been much help. Opinions tend to be cry-it-out or “I co-sleep and never have to leave my bed,” which, while valid opinions, are not helpful. Although the cry-it-out people do start to lure you in with their promises of sleep and stories of how they solved all of their problems – which sound exactly like mine. I am just so tired all the time. I don’t know how I am going to get his party done and I am so tired I am starting not to care. Sleep deprivation is making me lethargic and apathetic. And even writing this post has made me dissolve in to tears. Although, Spencer has been sleeping for his nap for an hour without waking up – he’s on my lap – but it is a start.

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